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Pablo & Igor : Macho Show
Igor: Good evening dragizilitili telespectatorski and welcome to Macho Show! My name is Igor and toghether with….
Pablo: Pablo!
Igor: We start the Macho Show! Now for one that they open the TV a little bit later….
Pablo: -Tv set was in the 80′ or 90′ hombre welcome to the freaking 2026 ,cman!
Igor: -Oh yeah your are right Pablovski….we are in perioad of tablets …not the clay or ceramic like Moses tablets or Chinese bricks but the modern ones made from glass, metal and semiconductors….materials that are plenty in Mother Russia….and when you look for the internet you search for Macho Show, and you find us…so today we gone discuss why Mother Russia want to visit our neighbor Ukraine…
Pablo: -You mean why to attack and invade Ukraine…your neighbor ,your brother, your former late drinking partner till you drop under table ,Ukraine…like normalnii chelavek…
Igor: -So many words but no truth, it’s a shame to got wrong impression about Mother Russia…we are peaceful chelavecks but some times we like to travel in other countries like tourists….
Pablo: -You mean to occupies other countries and forget to leave….Russian stile, comrade?
Igor: -No, no this is no the Russian way….Russian way is to do tourism but instead of car you driving a tank …just to be safe in case leopard attack you …you take cover in the tank and than you drive 1000 km till you finish the gas and than you call Moskva and you ask …tovarisch ,what we do next…need to send more gas ,ammunition and vodka….
Pablo: -Aha, but where you find this leopard in Ukraine?
Igor: -Everywhere…now with this global warming this animals move in Ukraine ,Kazakstan, Georgia….. are getting wild and sometimes we need to get to hunt them…what to do?
Pablo: -Some people will say that killing an animal with a fire gun it’s not dignifying you as human been.
Igor: -What dignifying means?
Pablo: -Like you know doesn’t look good to kill, for sport…it’s not civilized! From leopard point of view, he doesn’t have to many chances to survive!
Igor: -Aha, yes you right….I get it yes…well than we can provide to leopard some fire power so he can shoot back…what about that, it’s that civilized or what?
Pablo: -You gone give leopard a gun?
Igor: -Da, da, yes!
Pablo: -Ok but how he gone handle the gun…i mean he has a claw not fingers…
Igor: -We gone get some fingers from the monkey and transplant to leopard…WTF!! We gone give him entire hand…
Pablo: -So the leopard gone have an entire monkey hand in order to shoot the gun?
Igor: -Is that civilized?
Pablo: -Ok but he doesn’t now to use the gun, how…
Igor: -Man, which side are you?….we gone send him in Taliban camp in Afghanistan intensive two weeks training and after that he is fully prepared for us…it’s us or the leopard…one needs to go!
Pablo: -Poor leopard! But you know this doesn’t explain why you want to invade Ukraine…
Igor: -Fuck you man, we have more rockets than you! Do you have rockets in Argentina?
Pablo: -Not so many but we have a lot of cows and sheeps, millions.
Igor: -So if we send 200 ballistic intercontinental rockets we make nuclear barbecue with your cow and sheeps…without putting the foot on the ground! Welcome in freaking 2026!
Pablo: -Maybe, but who gone pay for that…who gone eat the nuclear barbecue ,comrade?
Igor: -NATO,NATO gone pay they are the one to blame for this situation…I mean they ask for it obviously…
Pablo: -Comrade you are one full of shit chelavek, you know that?
Igor: -(Showing him the finger)…Mother Russia is number one in world productions of ballistic intercontinental rockets …we can send your sorry stupid ass back to the stone age Pablovscki…don’t mess with us stay put and send those cows to Moskva because, we are hungry…tovarisch Putin needs to eat, military personnel need to eat, I need to eat ,everybody needs to eat!
Pablo: -Ok ,if so big demand in food ,why don’t invest in farming, food industry and you build this stupid rockets instead?
Igor: -Yes,you a right…honestly I need to ask Moskva this question….probably people don’t have money to buy rockets anymore, like they use back in the days….so we need to tell them, guys listen ,you have to options:
– Option A, you buy this rocket!
– Option B, we fire upon you this rocket free of charge but create a total destruction….
Pablo: -That’s sound like a shity plan !
Igor: -Shity plan but works since 1945 ….amigo! If you want to obtain something from countries just show them how balsoi rockets you have and everybody will agree that you don’t mess with tovarish Putin and mother Russia! Or you want us to visit the country to liberate you from Hitler….
Pablo: -What you talking about, Hitler was 70 years ago!
Igor: -Yes but this kids from now a days they don’t have any culture…they think it was 20 years ago…so play along, amigo!
Pablo: -Good it was entertaining to talk to you comrade till next time…take care and don’t fire any rockets because, you know, we still want to live on this planet and you leave as well here, use your small brain please!
Igor: -Harosho ,Pablovski !Let’s drink something….(he pull out two corona beers)
Pablo: -Beer, I thought you guys are brushing the teeths with beer?
Igor: -We do, but only in the winter as precaution….but now adays we drink what ever we have, beer ,wine, sanitazing liquid, even detergent…hai nazdarovaia amigo!
Pablo: -Salud comrade!